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DIAMOND POETRY
"Ex-Zion resident writes 'little nuggets' about baseball, living"
By Frank Abderholden- Staff Writer
WAUKEGAN NEWS SUN
06/21/03
Former Zion resident Dan Zamudio has come out from the underground in publishing his second
book Catcher in the Wry: Baseball Poems. His first book, How to Sneak into the Movies, was
more along the lines of Abbie Hoffman's Steal This Book. "I got my start at Lakehurst mall and
then brought the techniques to Chicago and California," said the 35-year-old with a laugh. There
are four basic methods: The old in the out door; pay for one stay for more; adopt a family (stay
close to the group, usher isn't counting tickets just tearing them); and desperate emergency
("Please, let me use the bathroom!"). The book got blurbs in the New York Times, Entertainment
Weekly and the men's magazine, Maxim. "It was a silly book," said Zamudio, but that was what
got him into the book-writing business and led to his second book that is targeted at male readers
between 10 and 16 years old or anyone that likes baseball.
Acting
The writing bug took him over like a slow cancer. He was trying to be an actor in Los Angeles.
He was an extra on shows like 90210, Melrose Place and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. "The
biggest thing I did in acting was I was a regular alien Bjorn worker on Star Trek: Deep Space 9,"
he said. "Basically, I started writing in acting class because I wasn't a very good actor," he added.
"I wrote scenes and monologues and I started to get a good response. Then people wanted me
to write scenes and monologues for them and Sneak was a side project," he said. Zamudio said
he was surprised that he actually wrote a book and someone paid him money for it. "I thought
to myself, maybe I've got something here." So he moved back to the Midwest and Chicago
partially because it was just time to get out of California. "I was there for the riots, big fires,
a major earthquake. I'd just had it. It was time to move back. I didn't want to live where they
have earthquakes," he said.
Librarian studies
After he moved, he decided to go into the library field and he went to get his master's degree
in library science at Dominican University in River Forest. He was thinking of becoming a
children's librarian and a number of teachers encouraged him because there are not many
males in that field. He started exploring children's literature and he found that there really
was no poetry for boys between the ages of 10 and 16. "They basically have nothing to read
and they stopped reading poetry," he said. So Zamudio started researching baseball poetry
and he was surprised to find there were actually a lot of books, and not just Casey At
The Bat published during the 1890s. "I kept bringing home stacks of books and my wife
couldn't believe it. It was surprising," he said. He also noticed that McFarland & Company,
a North Carolina publisher, had printed a lot of those books. He met a representative
from the company at a conference at Indiana University and he made a pitch about trying
to reach those young boys with a poetry book. "A week later, I had a contract in the mail.
I sent him some samples and he liked them," said Zamudio. The poems are short and sweet
because the author doesn't like long poems. In one, the title is three words and the poem is
four. "I like little nuggets. It's life and about living, and baseball is just a running theme
in the poems," he said. There is a whole section on the Cubs and the cover of the book,
a watercolor painted by his wife, shows the author at Wrigley Field. Wry humor is what a
lot of the poems are about, such as "Back Pocket":
Mom washes my pants,
cleans
Pete Rose
Or like: "How My Sister Rates The Rookies":
Nice form,
Good stance,
single — definitely a plus
There is a poem about the great White Sox player, Minnie Minoso, filing up his car with
gas outside Wrigley Field. "No one was giving this guy a hard time.Even Cubs fans had
respect for Minoso," said Zamudio.
Other poems bring him back to the days he lived at 2517 Gideon St. in Zion and played
baseball at Shiloh Park. He bought baseball cards at Cavett's Drugs, where Kmart is
now, and worked at Rooks Restaurant. He went to Our Lady of Humility School in
Beach Park for grade school and St. Joseph High School in Kenosha, Wis. What is next
for his career? His wife, Julie Sulzen, is expecting. "I always wanted to do a book with
her illustrating it," he said. So watch for a children's book in the future.
DEDICATION OF THE WEEK
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
April 1995
"This book is dedicated to me for all my hardwork and long hours typing, all the money
I spent on ribbon for my word processor and all the friends I lost who thought a book
about sneaking into movies would destroy their way of life." From How to Sneak into
the Movies by Dan Zamudio
BOUND TO BE BAD
"True Crime meets How-To"
By Scott Stossel
THE NEW YORKER
October 12, 1998
(Excerpt)
Among the various ways of sneaking into the movies, neophytes will do well to start
with the “pay for one, stay for more” method. When the movie to which you’ve
gained proper admission is over, make your way nonchalantly to the lobby, then
duck into the bathroom. Check your schedule to find out when the next film you
want to see is playing. When you see a group of people leaving the bathroom, walk
out with them, trying to blend in, before heading to the auditorium showing your
movie. If there is someone at the door checking ticket stubs, purchase some
popcorn and perhaps a beverage at the concession stand: these will be your props.
Explain that your date has your stubs – that you were just buying some popcorn.
Is the employee actually going to leave his station and follow you into the theatre
to verify your story? Of course not. The tub of popcorn will be proof enough.
Start early in the day and you’ll be able to make your way through the complete
offerings of your local multiplex before closing time, and all on a single ticket.
That’s just some of the wisdom you’ll find in a slender volume entitled,
“How to Sneak Into the Movies.” It is one of the seven hundred books published
by Loompanics Unlimited, each providing detail instructions for activities that range
from misdemeanors to felonies…”
LOOMPANICS UNLIMITED PRESENTS
featured author Dan Zamudio
1999
Dan Zamudio’s earliest memories of sneaking into the movies have to do with an early
version of his "Adopt a Family" approach which is detailed in his book, How to Sneak
Into the Movies. He would stand outside the Dunes Theater in Zion, Illinois and ask
people to adopt him so that he could get in to see a rated R movie. This method worked
great for getting him in to Caddy Shack and Fast Times at Ridgemont High, but failed
for the Blues Brothers. He recalls how he pushed past the ticket taker and ran into the
auditorium. Minutes later, ushers carried him outside while he repeatedly screamed,
"I’m seventeen!" until they finally put him down. Perhaps an inauspicious beginning,
but the idea was planted.
Dan wrote his book, How to Sneak into the Movies, primarily to encourage those timid
moviegoers who have always thought they could, but didn’t quite have the courage to do
it" themselves and didn’t know anyone else who had. That should no longer stop you if
you ever have aspired toward this activity. Whether your desire is to get into the movies,
the symphony, the ballet, baseball games, museums, concerts or any other ticketed events,
now you know someone who can show you the ropes.
Our author says this is a great way for today’s disenfranchised youth to rebel against
a society where the studios expect you to pay $9.00 for an hour and a half of time
to watch movies that are frequently not even worthy of your time let alone your
money. Our man Dan, while not a disenfranchised youth, still feels this way. Plus,
it’s a great way to impress girls.
Yes, believe it or not, Dan relates that sneaking into the movies is a great way to go on
a date and insert an element of excitement and "danger" into your excursion in a
perfectly non-threatening way. Girls still live in a fairly protected environment. Some
of them really enjoy the rush that comes with sneaking into the movies. Our expert
says it can turn out to be a really good date. Just be sure to follow the rules of
etiquette that the book, How to Sneak Into the Movies lays out or you could be
considered a cheapskate. Ladies, Would you sneak into the movies with this man?
In his high school years, Dan hooked up with other typical misfits, none of his
particular peer group fitting in as your typical jocks or even as your typical nerds.
They formed the "Family Cruisers" (named after the station wagon he and his
friends would drive around in everyday). Dan says that if it wasn’t for the "Family
Cruisers", the art of sneaking into the movies would never have been perfected.
It was during these formative "Family Cruiser" years that Dan began experimenting
with the idea of sneaking into places as a group. He began searching for the place
where all the guys could enjoy the benefits of a group sneak in. Finally, they decided
on Six Flags Great America, an amusement park that was practically in their back yard;
less than a 10-minute ride in the "Family Cruiser" and it contained three important
elements: 1) The Eagle – at that time the worlds largest wooden roller coaster
2) Q-Bert – a video game they were hooked on and 3) Chicks – fine young women
who might sit next to them on the Eagle. Most of the time they used the "quick rub"
method to get in. Dan would slide past the exit turnstile, walk around the carousel
once to make sure nobody noticed, then walk to the exit and get his hand stamped
before leaving. While the stamp was still wet he’d rub it on one of his friend’s hands.
They would then walk into the park for a fresh stamp and rush out to rub it on the next
person, and so on. Great America was a good time, but Dan’s true interest was always
the movies.
After exploring different ways of sneaking in with his friends, he decided to fine tune
the art by getting a job in his favorite "sneak in" theater. There he learned about
alarm systems on doors, when the managers leave, which doors are the best to use,
secret doors connecting mini-theaters to each other and most importantly, where
the employees are stationed. From his unique vantage point, behind the scenes, he saw
all the tricks that could be pulled. It was at this time that he decided to take the plunge
himself and after a few early "catches" managed to successfully sneak into his first movie,
and discovered the whole experience to be very intoxicating. He tried it a few more
times and found out it was more than just an accident that it had worked so well.
He studied the secret routes and began coaching his friends on ways to sneak in.
Along the way he perfected the techniques he shares in his book – how to case
a targeted theatre – to note the weak spots of the building, also how to distinguish
the best times to sneak in and what traps to avoid. Dan recommends sneaking into
the movies first as a means of building your courage and confidence before moving on
to larger events. You’ll learn how to create believable stories that no employee will be
able to refute, what props to use, how to do multiple person sneaks, of course
what to do if you’re caught and perhaps more importantly, what not to do if
you’re caught.
He was becoming bolder and while no longer employed by movie theaters, now he
was in the movies himself. His love of the big screen had prompted him to move
to Los Angeles to pursue an acting career. His first apartment was just a couple
blocks from the famous Chinese Theater. World famous not only for the footprints
and movie premiers, but also as the first movie theater he sneaked into in California.
He was appalled that it was so easy to get in. He had imagined security guards at
every door. This is one of the number one tourist sites in the world. "I just asked
to use the bathroom and they let me right in." says a disgruntled Dan.
He joined the Screen Actors Guild through Extra Work. Extra Work isn't glamorous
but it did get him on to the sets nearly everyday and that was all he needed
for awhile. Dan is the first one to admit he wasn’t a great actor, but the casting
directors loved him and kept trying to get him higher paying gigs. He worked for a
while as a Bjoran on the "Deep Space Nine" Star Trek series and occasionally as
a stand in for Luke Perry on the "90210" series. There were a few other memorable
parts, but there is no room here to document them all for posterity.
It was during this time period, while attending acting class, that Dan began writing
scenes and monologues and getting positive feed back about them from fellow actors.
He began writing a short film about sneaking into the movies but it just wasn’t coming
out the way he wanted it to. On examination, he realized he seemed to be writing a
long monologue and decided to develop the idea. Before he knew it, he had written
a short book.
While driving home from an audition one day listening to the radio he heard the DJ’s
on KABC radio talking about the Oscars and jokingly say something about finding
someone to sneak in. This was a "no brainer" so our man Dan pulled over to a pay
phone and told the station he would do it. The next day he went to the studio and
talked about it on the air. He was outfitted with a microphone bearing the KABC
logo and given a tape recorder. The staff wished him luck with a pleasant, "Don’t
get thrown in jail. Our bosses want nothing to do with this and won’t bail you out."
It was the 1993 Academy Awards being held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion in
downtown L.A. Dan scoped out the place the day before while they were having
rehearsals. He stood by the back door and tried to talk to Jack Nicholson, but soon
realized he had nothing he wanted to ask him. He noticed a door bolted open
with huge cables and marked that as a possible entrance. The next day, Oscar day,
he found the door still bolted open. He jumped over the cables and entered the building.
It was crazy – people running all over the place setting things up. Within a few steps
he realized he was on the stage behind the podium and froze, unsure of where
to go. Suddenly, he remembered the best place to hide is in the bathroom. He walked
to the front of the stage hoping to blend in with the crew, but burly security guard
saw him and screamed "No press in here! " Dan screamed back that he wasn’t the
press, but part of the crew, when, too late, he noticed the microphone he was holding
and took off running. He did manage to evade the guard and made it into the
auditorium. For 10 minutes or so he was rubbing elbows with the Hollywood glitterati
in the audience , but spent the rest of the time in the press area next to the red carpet,
without credentials, interviewing celebrities and having an even better time. It was a
personal best for our author and a fabulous example of master sneak in technique –
a stunning example for us all.
He and a date sneaked into the World Premier of the movie Bill and Ted’s
Bogus Adventure and sat next to Gene Simmons of Kiss and right behind
Keanu Reaves. It was a great sneak and a very enjoyable date with an edge to it.
That’s when he began to really appreciate that there are women who love the
rush of sneaking into events too.
Lately, Dan Zamudio has been a featured guest on The Movie Show on Radio which
airs on over 75 talk radio stations across the US and Canada on Saturday evenings
from 4 to 6 PM Eastern Time. Find a station near you and listen to Dan by checking
the web site at www.movieshow.com. His book has also been mentioned in the
New Yorker and Entertainment Weekly and in many an article about Loompanics
Unlimited books.
Dan Zamudio is currently submitting a photo pictorial book to publishers entitled, what
else, I Sneak Into the Movies, a children’s book. While going to college to become a
librarian (let this be a lesson to you if you ever make the mistake of thinking that librarians
are stodgy, boring types) he has developed an interest in children’s poetry.
According to our author, as long as the studios continue to consistently put out sub
standard movies and bribe movie critics with free passes to hoodwink the rest of
us into plunking down our cash to watch these bombs – he is going to continue
to hone his skills – and so should you.
HOW TO SNEAK INTO THE MOVIES
"You want to see Rocky 26—you just don’t want to pay $9.50"
By Alex Porter
MAXIM
April 2000
Sneaking into a movie theater can provide you with more than just an adrenaline rush
and two hours of free entertainment. As Dan Zamudio, author of How to Sneak into
the Movies, explains, “Women love guys who live on the edge.” As you and your
date arrive at the theater, tell her, “Oh, I’ve snuck in here before,” and employ one
of these surefire tips. Just don’t forget to bring money for snacks: Eating candy
off the floor will make you look cheap.
Join the family
On opening nights or weekends, follow closely behind a large group or family as they
enter. Make sure the ticket taker tears their whole wad of tickets at once, then enter
with them. Remember, you want to blend in, so leave the black trench
coat at home.
Take it from behind
Sneak around to the rear exits (hey, you were on your way to the Dumpster anyway).
As the crowd from the previous show pours out, you slip in. If an usher catches you,
explain that you’ve left something on your seat…like that stool sample you were
supposed to bring to the doctor.
Flush the usher
Coordinate the end of your first movie for around 6 p.m., when most theaters
schedule their shift changes. Ushers will be too busy trying to get home in time
to soak their faces in Clearasil to care whether you’ve paid for the next show.
Age disgracefully
Order half-price senior tickets in advance from Moviefone (www.moviefone.com).
Chances are the harried ticket taker at the theater won’t even pay attention to what’s
printed on the ticket. If for some reason he gives you a hard time, simply brain him
with your magnesium-alloy walker.